A Quiet Mind
by kindervelter
Summary: "It was odd, she thought. In some ways, she felt bitter for having gotten away." Belle's thoughts and conversation with Lumiere after narrowly escaping from Zelena during the showdown at the Dark One's Vault. One-Shot.


Belle One Shot - Quiet Minds

The cold wind whipped through the trees, slicing through her thin jacket and freezing her fresh tears to her face as she staggered through the dark forest. She couldn't tell how long or how far she'd run; it felt like hours, like whole lifetimes had passed. That wasn't how it was supposed to end.

It was supposed to be the three of them… together. Neal with his father and Rumple with his son and Belle with them both. A fresh set of tears threatened to force their way out as Belle replayed the events at the Dark One's Vault over in her head. If only she'd been stronger, or smarter, or _something. _

"I am sorry, mon chéri," the talking candlestick in her freezing hand piped up. He was barely more than a wisp of flame now, the wind threatening to extinguish him at any second. Belle prayed that he could at least stay around until morning. She didn't want to be alone… not again.

"It's alright," Belle said, her obvious lie doing little to fool Lumiere. "You did what was right in the end," she said. Then, almost as an afterthought, she added: "and thank you for… for saving my life." The tears were coming again. She wanted to stop and rest so desperately, but a part of her knew if she stopped she wouldn't make it out of the forest alive.

"You musn't lose hope, madame. Things will seem better in the morning," Lumiere comforted her. Belle could only mockingly laugh in reply.

"Some morning I have to look forward to," she said, waving her free hand and motioning to the forest that surrounded them on all sides. "Lost in the forest after nearly being killed by the man I love. This was not how it was supposed to be."

"It's not your fault, my dear," Lumiere said. "You tried to warn Neal. The choice was his."

"That doesn't matter. In the end it never matters. We were supposed to get him back. He was supposed to come back to me."

"But he did, madame!" Lumiere said, glowing a little brighter as his tone improved.

"But to what? He didn't come back to be the Witch's slave. I just… I thought we'd be able to be together… that we'd be able to stop fighting for once," Belle said, thinking over their now decades long struggle to stay together.

"Don't give up then," Lumiere said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "By all accounts, you should not have survived a run in with the Wicked Witch _and _The Dark One."

"I barely escaped with my life," Belle retorted. It was odd, she thought. In some ways, she felt bitter for having gotten away. She was alive and free, yes, but Rumple and Neal were _together. _They both, at least in a way, got what they wanted... they could stop fighting to have each other for a while.

But Belle had to keep going, and that felt more unfair than she could put into words. She was tired if being the fighter, of taking care of everyone and having no one truly care for her. She thought that, in having Rumple back, she'd have someone... that she wouldn't be so alone anymore. She'd had no one but herself for so long...

"All the same, you _did _escape. Perhaps it did not end the way you intended it to, but at least you're still in it," Lumiere said, dragging her back to reality.

Belle supposed, in a way, that Lumiere was right. Nothing had gone how it was supposed to-she was stumbling half dead and lost through the forest with a sentient candle as her only companion after narrowly escaping the Wicked Witch-but somehow she was alive.

"Now," Lumiere said. "Where are we going?" Belle found the question annoying, especially since she didn't know where exactly she _was._

"The Witch will be waiting for me at the Dark Castle, so I can't go back there..." Belle said, remembering all the time she'd spent there and realizing she could never return. "If memory serves there's a trade route to the North. I should be able to follow it back to Snow White's palace. The journey will be long though," she said, then more quietly added: "Especially alone."

"Oh Chéri, you are not alone," Lumiere said, offering her what comfort he could. In a way, Belle knew, he was right; she wasn't physically alone. But in a sense she'd lost everything in that one night. The others at the palace were her _allies_, not her loved ones. They didn't understand her... not like Rumple did.

"I know," was all she said, sighing. She desperately wanted to change the subject before she started crying again. "I've got a friend back at the palace who should be able to turn you into a human again," Belle said, referencing Regina... it was odd calling her former captor a friend. She supposed, and the thought was somewhat comforting to her, that things don't always turn out the way one expects.

"You mean after what I did to you... you're going to help me?" Lumiere asked, not believing what he'd heard.

"Of course," Belle reassured her shocked companion. "No matter what you've done in the past you still deserve a chance to be happy."

"Do you really believe that, Madame?"

" I have to; for Rumple... and even for myself sometimes," Belle said, annoyed by her own optimism. She'd just barely escaped from the worst night of her life without being killed. She wasn't in the mood to feel hopeful.

"Thank you, Chéri," was all Lumiere could say. Belle simply nodded and they fell into a comfortable silence as Belle guided them both through the dark forest.

Slowly, Belle began to accept that it was for the best she'd escaped. She was the only one to walk away from that vault... the only one who knew what had happened. Rumple could do untold damage, and Belle was the only person in the world who could warn the others... she was their only hope.

The further they went the more Belle was able to process what had happened to her. Some of the shock and trauma had worn off and she could look at things through a slightly better lens; Rumple was back, he and Neal were together, and she was alive.

It wasn't much hope to go on, but Belle had always had a knack for finding something positive in even the most impossible situations. Maybe it really wasn't too late. Maybe she really could get him back. Maybe it would all turn out alright… maybe, just maybe, good _could _win.


End file.
